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Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival - Pelts

Sometime back in May, my daughter and I visited the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival.  She insisted on going after she saw my photos and heard of my adventurous day at Rhinebeck back in October of 2010. We had the pleasure of getting up at the crack of dawn, which surprisingly is rather nice.  The air is still, the movements are an otherwise busy sidewalk is pleasantly at peace.  Riding the subway is wonderful. . .no on pushing. . .no smelly bodies to contend with LOL.

So, we start on our journey to meet the bus at the Atlantic Avenue Station in Downtown Brooklyn.  You will be surprised to know how many buses line up very early there.  Buses bringing families to meet their incarcerated loved ones.  Yes, we almost went to one of those inadvertently, but were smart enough to ask where this bus was headed before we boarded!

We finally meet our bus, get on, sleep a good portion of the way and finally arrive!

My mission was to buy three items:  1.  I was on a mission to find the pelt I left behind in Rhinebeck; 2.  Finding a drop spindle; and 3.  Purchasing fiber.

Alyssa and I wasted no time looking for a vendor who was selling pelts.  We came across so many but none was fitting the description I was looking for until finally I came to a vendor who was selling pelts.  To my amazement, it was the same vendor, woman and set up I had left behind in Rhinebeck.  I immediately dove into the piles of pelts in hopes of finding the one I left behind.  Alyssa and I searched and searched but to no avail.  The woman noticed us and asked if she could help.  We explained our story and in particular the conversation of that last pelt I left behind.  She was so kind. . .she helped us look but we found not that one pelt I so longed for.

I resigned myself to accepting something different.  Different is not 'bad' or 'good'; its just 'different'.  We came across three pelts, two were similar and one was totally different!  The two pelts were quite spotted and marbled.  They are beautiful:

You can see how spotted and marbled their coats are, two different sheep, spotted, marbled but yet different.  They are unique.

Isn't that like us?  We are the same, yet we are different and unique.  Different patterns, different colorings and shades,  still quite unique, we are all on a road, a journey; we share many things along the way but yet we travel these roads with different outcomes.

Ah but the third pelt was the one, not the actual one I was in search for, but very similar yet very different:

This pelts coloring is pretty even except for the two spots.  Interestingly one is black the other white and you know, life is not really black and white.  We like to think so, but for the most part we really live within the grey areas of life and so we should.  There are some very absolutes in life, but mostly everything is relative.

This little animal was probably put down because of those inconsistencies on its pelt, but look how interesting it is.  Just like we are.  We become more interesting if we allow the Potter to do his handiwork on our lives.

The vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter. —Jeremiah 18:4

Sometimes our vessels need to be broken in order to be made new and better.  Maybe that's what my journey is about. To be made better.  I'm getting groomed, like a sheep gets groomed. . .

Presently the sheep in the photo is getting groomed; it is restrained, but soon it will walk with grace and freedom once its master's done. . .

grace: 

elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action; a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

freedom: 

the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.

The pelts came from, are you ready for this:  FREEDOM FARMS and the woman's name was: GRACE.

My life continues to be different.  It will never be the same as it was with Gee.  I am coming to terms with that with each day I wake and fall asleep.

Psalm 30:5 NKJV

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joycomes in the morning.

Mercy Me - Homesick (Live)

Michael W. Smith - Healing Rain

Time Marches Forward. . .Letting Go

I recently had to purchase a new refrigerator.  WHOA wonderful great!!! Well, its funny how we associate things with our past and letting go. 

This 'old refrigerator' had been installed from the inception of the home I presently live in.  I remember how I prayed that GOD would supply a home that was 'clean', we wanted to be the first people to live in that brand new freshly painted home.  GOD honored that and he blessed us with our home.  That was 20 years ago.

Well getting back to the refrigerator.  The old refrigerator now had to go.  I did my research and found the one I wanted.  The new refrigerator came and the old one was taken out.  That felt very strange.  That 'old' refrigerator was there for all the big and small events.  Birthdays, more birthdays, Thanksgivings, Christmases, Easters, Mothers' and Fathers' Day(s), etc. and it was the refrigerator where Gee got his last ice and drink from.  Boy did he love ice in his drinks! 

GOD's word says that HE would never leave us nor forsake us.  Eventually all stops working, but GOD does neither sleep nor slumber.  HE never stops working.   GOD never has a "time out" time. . . HE is ever so present.

Now it is time to hook up the new refrigerator to the water supply line.  I have been blessed to have two family members who specialize in 'plumbing'.  They are willing to do the work for me.  So the other night my daughter's father-in-law came to inspect the hook ups and see what would be needed to do the job.  He came, he looked, he assessed the work and out the door he went.  What a strange feeling that was afterward.  To realize my home did not have a "man" in it; no head of household.  I had become a single person and the head of the household.  How strange and still my home suddenly felt.

Each night reminds me of how I am a single woman once again.  I am the HEAD of my household but yet I am not alone. . .GOD provides sleep to help me through the next day and experiences I need to grow in this life.  My journey is not over. . .

Jesus I Surrender by Jeff Deyo

The words to this song have been in my heart all week. 

Recently I was pondering 'sheep'.  Thinking about these lovely creatures and the beautiful fibers they give the world while still being alive.  You see, sheep are sheared once or twice a year of their coats.  They are not killed for their fibers such as mink, fox, seals, etc.  These coats are called fleece which are then weighed, sorted by various criteria and sold.  Spinners make their selections then sent to have the fleece processed by a mill, or they, the spinners will do the processing themselves.  The mills send the finished washed fleece back to the spinner who then begins a process of what is called 'carding', to us, that would be sort of like combing the fleece and then the process of 'spinning' begins to end with a product that you and I know as 'yarn'.

These beautiful animals come in many breeds, shapes, sizes, colors and temperaments.  The fiber can be crimpy, straight, short, long, or curly.  Every continent has a variety of sheep that does well in that climate and region.  Some can withstand temperatures of very cold while others can withstand hot temperatures.

On a visit to Rhinebeck, New York, I discovered that these animals respond to touch.  They are soft animals in that they enjoy human touch and company.  Sometimes they will reach into your coat pockets to draw out whatever they can find.  When you touch them you immediately feel their warmth and you feel their trust in you.  When you place your hand on the base of their horns, that area is so warm so inviting,  and as you move further up their horns, you realize it becomes less warm and begins to feel tepid.

Sheep graze off the grass on the land.  They become like living lawn mowers.  I began to think how do sheep apply to me as a spiritual learning ground.  Am I like a living lawn mower, grazing on the Word of GOD, chewing on it and digesting it?  Am I gentle as the sheep and do I know and recognize the voice of the one I must follow?

The Bible encourages us to be like 'sheep'.  And yet the word of GOD also says that while we were yet being formed in our mother's womb HE knew us.  HIS word also says that HE knows the very number of hairs on our heads.  So you might think well sheep are sort of the same and roam in flocks or herds, so how can GOD know me if I look and sound like the rest of the herd?  Well,  just like there are different breeds that are unique, so are we.  Just like there are temperamental sheep, so can we be as well.  Each sheep makes a slightly different sound when it vocalizes itself, so can we.  HOLY SPIRIT knows our deepest groanings from deep inside our bowels.

God knows when we are in the valley. "Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for YOU are with me; YOUR rod and YOUR staff, they comfort me."  Sheep are found high in the mountains and low in the valleys according to their breeding regions.

I am walking a valley, but I have hopes that one day I will pass through and out of this valley.  You see, in order to reach the hills and then the mountain tops, we have to first go through the valleys.  Some of our valleys can take longer than others, but eventually we will come out of them.  I know that many believe Psalms 23 is meant only to those who are near death, etc. but we can derive so much from this piece of scripture if we only allow Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts.

We like sheep do sometimes stray, but did you know that many sheep remember where they were born and return to that place?  Why did GOD likened us to the sheep, well sheep are trusting.  And so we like sheep, must trust the Great Shepherd.

Bittersweet

Laughing and crying = Sun shining brightly with rain showers and eventually the RAINBOW comes out!!

Bittersweet

Bittersweet according to Merriam-Webster: 

"pleasant alloyed (mixed) with pain; pleasant but including

or marked by elements of suffering or regret".

I now understand this.  How do I know, well I realized I was having moments of joy when thinking of Gee, then the tears would follow.  This has been happening more and more.  It happens most often when I get in the car, drive a few blocks and all of sudden I realize he won't be home when I return.  Its a statement of mind and emotion in knowing the permanency of his departure.  He is not on a business trip and returning in a few hours, but he is gone forever as we know it.  He leaves behind the memories we created, the influences of his ways stay with us, the knowledge of learning what he taught us, but the man, the physical man is gone.  Never to be seen in person or touched or felt.  No lips touching, no soft caresses to the face, no laughter being heard from his throat, no beating of his heart to be heard.  Gone.  Permanently. 

The sweetness comes in remembering the wonderful moments yet the realization that those moments will never be had and experienced once again with him.  Only the memory lingers and reminds me of my loss and that can be very difficult to manage. 

In the beginning of my loss, I felt that if there were a pill I could take to forget ever knowing him I would have swallowed it.  In retrospect, I'm glad there is no such 'pill'.  If I had forgotten him, I would not have remembered the good times.  But alas, the good times at present are remembered with much tears in my eyes and the sound of my voice cracking as I remember and recite with my children, family and friends.

BITTERSWEET - the mixture of joy and pain

Peter Gabriel : I Grieve 2002

Job - A Man of Endurance

For some time I have felt an urging to read the story of Job, an Old Testament character who endured much pain and much suffering.  He was a wealthy man, admired by many, large family and a loving wife.

I never wanted to read this particular book for fear that what Job went through somehow I would bring it upon myself.  I know that sounds weird and weird doesn't need explaining, but I did feel that way and so, I avoided reading the Book of Job.

As my life went into total chaos, beginning the night of Tuesday, May 5th, 2009,  the prompting and urging to turn to this book and read it, would not subside and I finally gave in.  As I cracked open those pages and started to read, I realized how much I understood Job and how much suffering he truly went through.  I cannot truly appreciate all his sufferings, but there was a part of me that understood a good portion of his 'woes and sorrows'.  I felt so drawn to reread certain sections of Job.  I kept reading the portion where he was told at four distinct times what had been lost.  I did understand.  I felt so like Job.  Distraught, filled with sorrow, fear, weepy, sad, lost in a fog, placed in some strange land that was so surreal that could anyone understand his thoughts and agony?

I recently shared the following with someone going through a difficult time:

"Holy Spirit knows our hearts better than we; HE hears the groanings of our spirit and brings it before the Father. [. . . ] You know, GOD allows us to travel these roads, although we can't understand why, but while we are traveling, we learn so much about ourselves and our relationship with HIM. Although there is a part of us that expects as children of GOD we should not experience these hardships, HE has a different plan for us. They may be very hurtful in the moment, but HIS plan begins to unfold as we trust in HIM. Sometimes that road is very lonely, it is times like that that we must turn to past blessings and not allow the enemy to steal our blessings and hope from us. Our greatest victories are when we are in the valley, because that is when GOD's strength is so easily seen and magnified in our lives. We can look back and know GOD brought us out of the valley. I am understanding what 'bittersweet' means and I feel so blessed to have so many praying for me. I will keep your friends in prayer. They too will one day hit that same road I am on of bittersweetness."

Rhinebeck, etc.

This was shared on the Women of Unity's Newsletter at my Church. . .

Rhinebeck Wool and Sheep Fair - October 16, 2010

I had the pleasure of attending the wool and sheep fair in Rhinebeck, New York back in October.  Gee and I had made lots of plans to visit, but of course, life got in the way.  I decided to join a knitting circle in my neighborhood and the coordinator of the group always made a trek to Rhinebeck yearly.  So I paid the fee and on the bus I went, not really knowing anyone on this trip.  This was my very first my excursion outside of Brooklyn without Gee and without my family.  Interesting isn’t it, how you can be surrounded by many people, yet feel so alone.

 

I spent that entire day by myself wandering the grounds and constantly spending lots of time with the animals.  For some reason, I was really drawn to the animals – it was like going to the zoo for adults. Although I didn't know anyone I felt so very in tune to these beautiful animals, albeit some needed to be groomed.

As I wandered the various vendors, I came across a vendor selling sheep pelts. I came across one pelt that was rather small, champagne colored with one large brown or black spot. I ran my fingers over the fur and noticed that the tips of the fur were still colored in a taupe coloring that had not been shorn off in the process, but as you got further down closer to the skin, the fur was creamy white. I asked the woman why this animal had been put down when clearly it was so beautiful and the spot made it even more intriguing. She replied “it is that very spot that you call beautiful that cut that animals life short. The animal could not be sold for breeding because it was spotted.”

I thought about that and wondered how many of us would have been put down because of our scars or ‘spots’, yet someone still found us beautiful enough despite the 'spots' that HE gave HIS life for us.  The Word of God tells us, ‘by HIS stripes we are healed’.

The Old Testament tells us that the lamb had to be spotless in order for it to be sacrificed to GOD.  Yet through grace, with all our scars, we are beautiful and valuable enough in HIS eyes not to be put ‘down’.  The scars and spots we carry make us more valuable because they are lessons we carry with us from our past that teach, encourage and remind us of HIS everlasting love.

I didn’t spend that day by myself, but Holy Spirit accompanied me.  And through those hours I learned so much.  I am on a path of healing. . .how long will it take, only HE can tell. . .I’m in no rush, I just hope I can keep my heart and spirit sensitive and opened enough to learn.

I regretted not purchasing that pelt.  So now I am on a mission to find the perfect spotted pelt. 

Background Reading

I posted this sometime ago on a different blog. . .just trying to give you some background. . .

TUESDAY, MAY 18, 2010

One Year Anniversary

One year has passed since my companion, friend, husband left this present realm. I have journeyed extensively both emotionally, financially, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have had so many give their support to me in various ways. Like a marathon runner, many were on the sidelines passing me nourishment along the way. Some ran with me, others met me along different points, but all were a constant help in a time of need. I thank you each and all -- life was not intended to be done by oneself, but with others.

My journey is not over. I continue to grieve the loss of my husband, Gee. But I cannot change 'life'. I am where I am supposed to be and as such will continue to journey along. I know one day the hurt will be so much less. I can smile now w/o feeling guilty, I can sometimes watch TV programs we both shared and enjoyed together w/o feeling weird. I am acquiring confidence in my driving, although I still hate driving, but am getting places with the help of my TomTom and my daughter, The Navigator and Co-Pilot!

Background Info Cont'd

TUESDAY, MAY 26, 2009

The Loss of My Husband, Friend, My Everyday. . .

I have not posted in some time because I have not been able to pick up my knitting needles. You see my best friend and husband of 18 years passed away on Tuesday, May 5, 2009. We had dinner together, watched American Idol together and then he was gone. Quickly, suddenly without any pain to him, but much to those left behind. I miss him everyday, every moment, every thought. . .how does one go on? You just do, but with much anguish.

He was my #1 FAN when it came to knitting. Whenever I was joining a class at Stitch Therapy Brooklyn, he would always say "play nicely now". When I would return, he would ask "did you play nicely with the rest of the ladies?" I will miss those moments. I will miss the moments when he would call me at work to see if I arrived; would call me from home to ask if it was time for me to come home? etc. Never did he ask much of me, but he spoiled me terribly. Never will there be one like him ever again!